WE MADE IT TO APPOINTMENT DAY\u2026<\/p>\n

We met with the perinatologist (fetal medicine specialist) with such anticipation (and almost an excitement) for what she\u2019d say. We had made it another week and she was a \u201cspecialist,\u201d so we thought she would know what we needed to do to keep me from going into labor and save this sweet boy.<\/p>\n

The appointment was similar to other prenatal appointments\u2013weight and urine check, questions\u00a0about my overall health, and an ultrasound. It was SO wonderful to see him in there moving and kicking, even with very low fluid levels. We were all smiling and feeling so positive watching him. He didn\u2019t know anything was wrong.<\/p>\n

The tech never cracked a smile \u2026 we weren\u2019t sure if she wasn\u2019t supposed to show emotion or she was just having a really bad day. Very different than the friendly, sweet techs I\u2019d seen while being under\u00a0Dr. Werner\u2019s care. We knew techs weren\u2019t\u00a0supposed to tell us the details that the doctor needed to explain, but a bit of warmth wouldn\u2019t have hurt anybody. My positive attitude started to wane.<\/p>\n

The doctor came in and solemnly looked at the ultrasound and proceeded to tell us that the fluid level was low (we knew this) and more leaking would mean major issues or death for the baby. We all asked questions (we\u2019d been researching PPROM extensively and wanted to know details about our situation compared to others). Every single thing we asked about or suggested was shot down. There was a quiet sadness filling the room. She made a few jokes, I guess to lift our spirits, and I\u2019m not sure but I think my mouth dropped open as I listened to her callous comments.\u00a0This didn\u2019t feel anything like I\u2019d imagined.<\/p>\n

She left the room and I immediately fell into the bio mom\u2019s arms and bawled. When I looked up, I saw tears coming down Jeff\u2019s cheeks. We all stood in the room for several minutes and cried. It felt like everyone we spoke with, including\u00a0this specialist in high-risk pregnancies,\u00a0just assumed that\u00a0I was going to lose the baby. And in that moment, I questioned my optimism and gut.<\/p>\n

Was I just being ridiculous to think I could make my body hold onto this child, and ignore what we were being told? I really, really, really felt like I could do SOMETHING \u2026 that it wasn\u2019t a wasted effort. He was still ALIVE in my tummy.<\/p>\n

We walked quietly down the hall and into the elevators; I\u2019m sure our minds were all reliving what had just happened.\u00a0I could feel\u00a0baby boy\u00a0kicking as I walked and I rubbed my belly and\u00a0silently talked to him\/prayed to God.\u00a0We sat in the waiting area and tried to construe our own plan. We knew our hope had just been crushed in a matter of minutes, and it shouldn\u2019t have been. No matter what was \u201cinevitable,\u201d\u00a0a specialist should know that if someone comes to her, they are in a scary, emotional situation and she should\u00a0understand them wanting to TRY whatever they can to save their little one. She should not be crass and sarcastic, making us feel like this was just another day at the office.<\/p>\n

The bio dad suggested we get another opinion, from another high-risk doctor, and we agreed. Jeff took me home to get in bed, I made a few phone calls and within hours we had\u00a0scheduled an appointment for the next week and gotten my records transferred.<\/p>\n

We were relieved to be DOING SOMETHING. None of us wanted to just accept that the baby was going to be born too early and there was nothing to do but wait for it to happen. And we needed to find a\u00a0high-risk doctor\u00a0who thought like we did. Someone who knew what \u201cusually happens\u201d with PPROM, but who also knew that it\u00a0WAS possible to make it far enough for this baby to survive. Someone who would let us have hope<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

We couldn\u2019t wait to meet with the new doctor. We had a new plan and renewed positive vibes!<\/p>\n

In the meantime, more coconut water. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Love (and hydrate) more,<\/p>\n

Dana<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*This is the eighth piece in my surrogacy story. Thanks for following along! When I was sent home from the hospital (just one day shy of 20 weeks along), the only plan was for me to be on strict bedrest, complete my prescription of antibiotics,\u00a0and to come back to the hospital if I started contracting or bleeding. There was a chance the tear would repair itself, but that was unlikely. Most often with PPROM, the sac completely breaks open, labor begins or an infection develops. I had asked every nurse that came into my hospital room for advice. They were all so positive and told me uplifting stories of patients who had made it to 28 weeks and even farther! They told me to keep drinking water (to replenish the fluid I was losing), to lie flat (one even suggested lowering my head) and to try to stay calm. One even closed her eyes and prayed along when my daddy visited and was praying with me. \ud83d\ude42 So, my personal plan as I started bedrest was to stay flat in bed as much as possible and do everything I could to keep my body from developing an infection. I knew if that happened, the doctors would immediately induce labor or perform a C-section. I took my prenatal every day, ate tons of fruits and veggies, and drank more water than I have in my entire life. I also drank coconut water for added hydration and electrolytes, ate yogurt for probiotic protection, and drank cranberry juice for urinary tract health. Watermelon and celery\u00a0gave me even more water intake (and the natural vitamins they have), and a cold quinoa salad from the Publix deli became my obsession. Several friends had suggested quinoa for its antioxidant and repairing properties, so my family stocked up on it for me. My dad even drove across town to several Publixes when the one near my house didn\u2019t have any left. A huge challenge was keeping my bladder empty (to prevent the onset of contractions) because I was supposed to lie on my back as much as possible. But, I was drinking so much water that I needed to pee all the time! And every time I tried to get out of bed, I felt a fluid leak. Ugh. So scary (and gross) and\u00a0I cringed every time it happened. I was terrified that this would be the big one that\u00a0meant baby was on his way. I desperately tried to stay calm and positive. We were referred to a specialist and had an appointment with her\u00a0the following week, if the baby didn\u2019t arrive before then. So, I celebrated each day that got us closer to the appointment. My regular OB\/GYN, Dr. Werner, called and texted several times to check in on me. She knows me so well, and knew I was staying positive and doing exactly what I was told, but I was still scared. And I was sad to be moving to a new doctor because I have such a great relationship with her (and to me, feeling comfortable with and having trust in\u00a0your OB\/GYN is super important). But, in this case, I needed to be with a high-risk doctor for the rest of the pregnancy. *Not the best picture, but this is what Jeff did before he left for work every day. I had yogurt, veggies and hummus, fruit, a sandwich, extra juice, coconut water and quinoa in my cooler so I didn\u2019t have to go downstairs or ask the babysitter to get me anything. WE MADE IT TO APPOINTMENT DAY\u2026 We met with the perinatologist (fetal medicine specialist) with such anticipation (and almost an excitement) for what she\u2019d say. We had made it another week and she was a \u201cspecialist,\u201d so we thought she would know what we needed to do to keep me from going into labor and save this sweet boy. The appointment was similar to other prenatal appointments\u2013weight and urine check, questions\u00a0about my overall health, and an ultrasound. It was SO wonderful to see him in there moving and kicking, even with very low fluid levels. We were all smiling and feeling so positive watching him. He didn\u2019t know anything was wrong. The tech never cracked a smile \u2026 we weren\u2019t sure if she wasn\u2019t supposed to show emotion or she was just having a really bad day. Very different than the friendly, sweet techs I\u2019d seen while being under\u00a0Dr. Werner\u2019s care. We knew techs weren\u2019t\u00a0supposed to tell us the details that the doctor needed to explain, but a bit of warmth wouldn\u2019t have hurt anybody. My positive attitude started to wane. The doctor came in and solemnly looked at the ultrasound and proceeded to tell us that the fluid level was low (we knew this) and more leaking would mean major issues or death for the baby. We all asked questions (we\u2019d been researching PPROM extensively and wanted to know details about our situation compared to others). Every single thing we asked about or suggested was shot down. There was a quiet sadness filling the room. She made a few jokes, I guess to lift our spirits, and I\u2019m not sure but I think my mouth dropped open as I listened to her callous comments.\u00a0This didn\u2019t feel anything like I\u2019d imagined. She left the room and I immediately fell into the bio mom\u2019s arms and bawled. When I looked up, I saw tears coming down Jeff\u2019s cheeks. We all stood in the room for several minutes and cried. It felt like everyone we spoke with, including\u00a0this specialist in high-risk pregnancies,\u00a0just assumed that\u00a0I was going to lose the baby. And in that moment, I questioned my optimism and gut. Was I just being ridiculous to think I could make my body hold onto this child, and ignore what we were being told? I really, really, really felt like I could do SOMETHING \u2026 that it wasn\u2019t a wasted effort. He was still ALIVE in my tummy. We walked quietly down the hall and into the elevators; I\u2019m sure our minds were all reliving what had just happened.\u00a0I could feel\u00a0baby boy\u00a0kicking as I walked and I rubbed my belly and\u00a0silently talked to him\/prayed to God.\u00a0We sat in the waiting area and tried to construe our own plan. We knew our hope had just been crushed in a matter of minutes, and it shouldn\u2019t have been. No matter what was \u201cinevitable,\u201d\u00a0a specialist should know that if someone comes to her, they are in a scary, emotional situation and she should\u00a0understand them wanting to TRY whatever they can to save their little one. She should not be crass and sarcastic, making us feel like this was just another day at the office. The bio dad suggested we get another opinion, from another high-risk doctor, and we agreed. Jeff took me home to get in bed, I made a few phone calls and within hours we had\u00a0scheduled an appointment for the next week and gotten my records transferred. We were relieved to be DOING SOMETHING. None of us wanted to just accept that the baby was going to be born too early and there was nothing to do but wait for it to happen. And we needed to find a\u00a0high-risk doctor\u00a0who thought like we did. Someone who knew what \u201cusually happens\u201d with PPROM, but who also knew that it\u00a0WAS possible to make it far enough for this baby to survive. Someone who would let us have hope. We couldn\u2019t wait to meet with the new doctor. We had a new plan and renewed positive vibes! In the meantime, more coconut water. \ud83d\ude42 Love (and hydrate) more, Dana<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":82,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[15,18,19,21,20,14,16,13],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Surrogacy1.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":false,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7h0AN-1i","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":953,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions\/953"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/82"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}