\u00a0*This is the sixth piece in my surrogacy story. Thanks for following along!<\/em><\/h2>\n

\n

I distinctly remember several of the reactions we received from people as we shared our happy news. Some thought it was strange, some thought it was \u201cinteresting,\u201d but the majority thought it was just as wonderful as we did. (Those are my favorite to remember!)<\/p>\n

I know surrogacy is hard to comprehend for some people. And I know there are a million questions that come to mind when the topic arises. I\u00a0never minded (and still don\u2019t mind) talking about it and helping others understand why I chose to do this.<\/p>\n

As we would tell others about the pregnancy, a\u00a0common remark was, \u201cI\u2019d never do that,\u201d or \u201cI could never do that.\u201d And I\u2019d always say, \u201cThat\u2019s OK. You don’t have to. You do what you can and I\u2019ll do what I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

It’s one of those situations that reminds you that you don\u2019t have to want to do everything others do. We\u2019re all different; we all give differently; we all have different goals and bucket lists. And that\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

For those who questioned how I could \u201cgive away\u201d a baby I\u2019d carried, I always told them to imagine if\u00a0you were a surrogate for\u00a0your sister or best friend. You\u2019d never<\/strong> want to keep their baby. You\u2019d be so excited to finally give them that precious\u00a0bundle they\u2019d longed for \u2026 especially after going through this process together. That moment when the doctor hands their baby to them is what you\u2019ve imagined in your head a thousand times during the journey. You sign up for this knowing another couple\u2019s baby is going to be in your womb, you\u2019re going to take care of him and bring him into this world, and then be a part of a magical moment when he meets his parents for the first time \u2026 and THEY meet HIM.<\/p>\n

I did it for that moment. Never once feeling like he was mine to keep. Never once feeling sad that he wasn\u2019t going home with me.\u00a0I helped grow him, FOR them. To me, it was never me giving him away, it was me bringing him home to them.<\/p>\n

---

\n

We waited several weeks into the pregnancy to announce it on Facebook (after I\u2019d had several ultrasounds and\u00a0multiple weeks of bloodwork that showed the hormone levels climbing). I didn\u2019t know what kind of response I\u2019d get after telling the Facebook \u201cworld.\u201d I just wanted to fill everyone in so they\u2019d know what was going on when they saw my growing belly. And I was so happy about this experience, I wanted to finally share the excitement that was bursting out\u00a0of me.<\/p>\n

The outpouring of positive support and love was overwhelming.\u00a0I remember my phone buzzing all day from the Facebook replies to the announcement. I cried several times (surprise!) reading the sweet, loving, encouraging words from friends, family, and even acquaintances. Not\u00a0ONE negative comment. It filled me up so completely and buried\u00a0any icky remarks that\u00a0had come\u00a0from a few conversations.<\/p>\n

---

\n

Telling\u00a0our boys was actually pretty easy. We went to one of our favorite local restaurants and while we were all talking I told them we had some happy news. I explained that Mommy was going to help a friend who couldn\u2019t have a baby. I told them it was the\u00a0other family\u2019s\u00a0baby, that they created, but now Mommy was going to carry it for them. My belly would get big just like it had with Finley, and then the baby would be born and go home with his or her\u00a0family. Of course, Finley, our youngest, didn\u2019t understand anything being discussed \u2026 he just wanted to get down and run around the garden patio. Sawyer (4 at the time) was inquisitive and asked several great questions.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs the baby going to look like us?\u201d \u201cDo we get to name the baby?\u201d \u201cWill we get to go visit the baby?\u201d<\/p>\n

Our two oldest boys listened, took it all in and thought it was pretty neat. I remember Miles, our oldest, asking if the baby was already in there. I said yes, and he shrugged and said, \u201cWow. That\u2019s pretty crazy. And weird. But cool.\u201d<\/p>\n

They were actually very\u00a0mature about the whole thing, telling their friends about it,\u00a0and then their new teachers when school started a few months later (before I had the chance to tell them). We just had to work on some vocabulary. Carson\u2019s teacher sent me an email explaining the conversation they\u2019d had\u00a0when Carson was trying to share with her that his mom was a \u201ccigarette\u201d for another mommy who couldn\u2019t have a baby. She figured out he meant to say \u201csurrogate\u201d and he said, \u201cOhh yeaaa \u2026 surrogate, you\u2019re right, that\u2019s what she is!\u201d \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

*Blurry pic of a memorable night! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

I was so glad when everyone knew about the surrogacy and we could go about our lives as usual. Although, our lives \u201cas usual\u201d ended when I was 19 weeks and 4 days along. Whew \u2026 this part of the story might take a while.<\/p>\n

Until then,<\/p>\n

Love (and celebrate good news) more,<\/p>\n

Dana<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0*This is the sixth piece in my surrogacy story. Thanks for following along! I distinctly remember several of the reactions we received from people as we shared our happy news. Some thought it was strange, some thought it was \u201cinteresting,\u201d but the majority thought it was just as wonderful as we did. (Those are my favorite to remember!) I know surrogacy is hard to comprehend for some people. And I know there are a million questions that come to mind when the topic arises. I\u00a0never minded (and still don\u2019t mind) talking about it and helping others understand why I chose to do this. As we would tell others about the pregnancy, a\u00a0common remark was, \u201cI\u2019d never do that,\u201d or \u201cI could never do that.\u201d And I\u2019d always say, \u201cThat\u2019s OK. You don’t have to. You do what you can and I\u2019ll do what I can.\u201d It’s one of those situations that reminds you that you don\u2019t have to want to do everything others do. We\u2019re all different; we all give differently; we all have different goals and bucket lists. And that\u2019s OK. For those who questioned how I could \u201cgive away\u201d a baby I\u2019d carried, I always told them to imagine if\u00a0you were a surrogate for\u00a0your sister or best friend. You\u2019d never want to keep their baby. You\u2019d be so excited to finally give them that precious\u00a0bundle they\u2019d longed for \u2026 especially after going through this process together. That moment when the doctor hands their baby to them is what you\u2019ve imagined in your head a thousand times during the journey. You sign up for this knowing another couple\u2019s baby is going to be in your womb, you\u2019re going to take care of him and bring him into this world, and then be a part of a magical moment when he meets his parents for the first time \u2026 and THEY meet HIM. I did it for that moment. Never once feeling like he was mine to keep. Never once feeling sad that he wasn\u2019t going home with me.\u00a0I helped grow him, FOR them. To me, it was never me giving him away, it was me bringing him home to them. We waited several weeks into the pregnancy to announce it on Facebook (after I\u2019d had several ultrasounds and\u00a0multiple weeks of bloodwork that showed the hormone levels climbing). I didn\u2019t know what kind of response I\u2019d get after telling the Facebook \u201cworld.\u201d I just wanted to fill everyone in so they\u2019d know what was going on when they saw my growing belly. And I was so happy about this experience, I wanted to finally share the excitement that was bursting out\u00a0of me. The outpouring of positive support and love was overwhelming.\u00a0I remember my phone buzzing all day from the Facebook replies to the announcement. I cried several times (surprise!) reading the sweet, loving, encouraging words from friends, family, and even acquaintances. Not\u00a0ONE negative comment. It filled me up so completely and buried\u00a0any icky remarks that\u00a0had come\u00a0from a few conversations. Telling\u00a0our boys was actually pretty easy. We went to one of our favorite local restaurants and while we were all talking I told them we had some happy news. I explained that Mommy was going to help a friend who couldn\u2019t have a baby. I told them it was the\u00a0other family\u2019s\u00a0baby, that they created, but now Mommy was going to carry it for them. My belly would get big just like it had with Finley, and then the baby would be born and go home with his or her\u00a0family. Of course, Finley, our youngest, didn\u2019t understand anything being discussed \u2026 he just wanted to get down and run around the garden patio. Sawyer (4 at the time) was inquisitive and asked several great questions. \u201cIs the baby going to look like us?\u201d \u201cDo we get to name the baby?\u201d \u201cWill we get to go visit the baby?\u201d Our two oldest boys listened, took it all in and thought it was pretty neat. I remember Miles, our oldest, asking if the baby was already in there. I said yes, and he shrugged and said, \u201cWow. That\u2019s pretty crazy. And weird. But cool.\u201d They were actually very\u00a0mature about the whole thing, telling their friends about it,\u00a0and then their new teachers when school started a few months later (before I had the chance to tell them). We just had to work on some vocabulary. Carson\u2019s teacher sent me an email explaining the conversation they\u2019d had\u00a0when Carson was trying to share with her that his mom was a \u201ccigarette\u201d for another mommy who couldn\u2019t have a baby. She figured out he meant to say \u201csurrogate\u201d and he said, \u201cOhh yeaaa \u2026 surrogate, you\u2019re right, that\u2019s what she is!\u201d \ud83d\ude42   *Blurry pic of a memorable night! \ud83d\ude42 I was so glad when everyone knew about the surrogacy and we could go about our lives as usual. Although, our lives \u201cas usual\u201d ended when I was 19 weeks and 4 days along. Whew \u2026 this part of the story might take a while. Until then, Love (and celebrate good news) more, Dana<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":292,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[94,18,93,30,31,19,21,14,13],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/39ishFlowersboyshands.jpg?fit=1200%2C1811&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":false,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7h0AN-2N","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=173"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":293,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions\/293"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.39ishlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}